I'm finally here, we're finally apart.
Things aren't getting any easier for me.
The fact that things are changing and you are changing makes me feel more lost and depressed as ever.
I do, I just feel sad.
I feel helpless and under-appreciated.
I feel that I'm no longer the center of your world, be it in reality or in cyber space.
I feel like this go-to person when you want to complain about something, vent out about something.
I don't know what I should or could do anymore to protect myself from feeling this insecure and hurt.
The fact remains that I am unhappy about us and that I desperately need to keep focus on my work and finding a second job.
Perhaps if I didn't come here I wouldn't be feeling all these emotions and all these pressures from you and daily life.
All I could do is to keep my chin up, motivate myself, be nice to everyone and make new friends. Those stuff keep me distracted from you.
Besides that, I just hope that time passes faster until I get to come home... I get to see my baby Bambs... I get to know, plan and set out for my next destination life has to offer.
I hope if one day you ever actually remember or notice this blog and its updates, just try to understand that I did not mean to bombard it with negative posts, I just need an outlet and a somewhere I could try to balance all these confusion and mixed feelings. How I wished that good memories flooded this blog than bad. But then again, we're all just greedy.
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